MySpace... God help THEM!

Ok, so yes... I'll admit I had a "MySpace"... Basically because I thought it was a kewl project for CFML/ColdFusion/Blue Dragon... After several months of dealing with the insanity, I finally found someone who put it so well that all I can do is to "publish" his rant here:

OK guys, seriously. Some of you have problems. I don't mind the occasional "get to know me" survey, and definitely don't mind the bulletins like "call me tonight if you want to hang out" or "so-and-so had their baby" or whatever, but some of you and your bulletins are just completely idiotic.

1- Nothing in life is free. That includes ringtones, Motorolla Razr cell phones, XBox360s, or anything else that you can "get for free by clicking here!" These are programs that steal your password and then use your myspace bulletin posting to forward more annoying spam. You're a dumb*ss if you even entertain the notion that you're going to get anything of value simply by clicking a link and you deserve to have your stuff hacked. If you want nice things, get a job and work for them like the rest of us.

2- There are no trackers that keep up with who looks at your profile. Stop trying to make one. If you're so self-absorbed and narcissist that who takes a second to look at your profile, please do the rest of us a favor and get off myspace. Nobody is stalking you. You aren't that good looking, and you aren't that interesting. Sorry to break that to you. Move on from the profile trackers.

3- Tom is not going to shut down myspace. Not now, not ever. Tom is too busy swimming in a pool full of $100 bills to care about anybody's inactive accounts. As long as myspace is running, Tom is a rich man. Tom isn't going to shut this website down, and if you forward one more bulletin to the contrary, I'm going to post a bulletin linking to your myspace page and telling people what a gullible moron you are.

4- My faith in God is, aside from being my own business, not something that I can "prove to the world" by forwarding some bulletin that you got me to open under false pretenses anyway. I show God my love for him by being the best person I can possibly be in real life, not by forwarding self-righteous bulletins on the internet accusing people of being non-Christians if they don't repost it. Christians lead by example, not lip service, so drop the "if you REALLY love God you'll prove it to a dozen people on myspace!" crap. K THX.

5- The only thing more retarded than chain letters are people who forward/repost them. Guess what Potsie, I've never forwarded a single damn one of those things, yet somehow I've had success in love AND money and nobody close to me died the next week after I didn't repost one. Coincidence? NO, it's called having a freaking brain. You deserve bad things to happen to you if you DO keep reposting those, NOT the other way around.

6- Whoring for comments makes you look pathetic. I'm so very sorry to say it, but it's true. If you need attention that badly, get off the internet and seek professional help.

Thank you very much for your time, now please stop wasting mine. Now repost this in less than six minutes or you will die in less than six days.