Once more unto the brink...

"I am so happy right now, I could pee my pants!!!! I have just inherited $8 million dollars from an Uncle that died in a plane crash......... or at least that's what the email said that I received on Monday. All I have to do is email back the attorney with some information and the money will be transferred to my bank account, less a fee. How simple is that??? Wait........ as far as I know all my Uncles are still living. Mmmmmmm. lol. I was about to delete the email when I suddenly wondered why these people still send out this crap. With all the news in the media and so forth why bother. It got me thinking, surely there are not people out there stupid enough to believe these emails. Afterall, if a law firm were truly looking for relatives the last way they would contact you is by email. Anyway, just as the cursor hovered over the "delete" icon, I had a thought. I had some time to kill so why not write back. I hit "reply" and as I typed "Dear Sir" the bad side of my sense of humor emerged like the rising of the Phoenix from the ashes. The mind went into overdrive, while the fingers bashed away faster than a Bucatti Varon. I explained to the attorney that this good news (although in sad circumstances) could not have come at a better time. I was an "inventor" by profession and was currently searching for backing for my latest invention. If commercially produced it would cut down on global warming, save people hundreds every year and put a whole new "light" on things. With the right backing, it would mean that whether you live in a mud hut in the middle of nowhere or in a fifty room masion you would have light at almost no cost. The knock on effect would be that the only power the average homeowner would use would be for their appliances. It would cut down on the amount of pollution from power stations. My idea - glow in the dark wallpaper. During the day it would absorb light, even if you live in a grey dismal area, and then as dusk fell the paper would begin to glow, thus lighting up the whole house, or hut depending on where you lived. I did explain that there was one flaw to this invention. You can't switch it off. This would mean that homeowners would have to sleep with blindfolds on or buy blinds that they could pull down over the wallpaper when they went to bed (a bit like drapes at a window). The money from my Uncle's demise would certainly help in trying to overcome this problem. I concluded by asking them to send me a Western Union money order since I didn't want the money being deposited into my bank account because the government would take it for back taxes and clearing credit cards that were maxed out when I bought all those things you didn't know how you lived without that were sold on QVC. As I hit "send" I sat back feeling a good job had been done. What I did not expect was an email back the next day from the attorney saying they could not send a money order and needed my bank details. BUGGER!!! I am going to write back and suggest that they bring the money over in cash and I will pay the couriers air fare. Can't say fairer than that, can I?"